Entry 3 - Wired Up

It is very early, another night trouble sleeping. Man does it ever suck! One day I just want to be able to go to sleep, without any help. One day.
Friday I was given the results of one of my tests. I am now 75% cleared. If only my body was up to 75% capacity. The stamina has been very slow to increase, much slower than I prefer.
Saturday was a botched paper, but still good practice. There are moments that you realize you just get pre-judged. There is really nothing to be done about it.
So a run, an attempt at a longer run of 4 miles and change today. It is time to start pushing a bit. Stretch, modified tune list, and the dark sky. It is warm enough I can travel light on clothing for a change. It always feels good to trot along in the cool air. Of course at 59, some do not consider that very cool at all. I consider it a ‘comfortable’ temperature.
A good workout is just what I need to start the day off. Even if it is considerably early for most peoples’ definition at 330. I keep telling myself that I will need to push a little harder and return to my former ways if I am to obtain my goals.
Discipline, and patience. Preparation prevents injury, but today I will push hard. The cliché “pain is fear leaving the body”. There was a time that I truly had no fear. In order to accomplish the impossible, the impossible needs to become possible, probable. In that, a state on the fine edge between insanity and brilliance, is the place I will need to be in order to push my body for a grueling 154 miles across plains and up mountains.
Today, a test of fortitude stares me in the face. As I often say: “It is not a question of being afraid or not [everyone gets scared], it is about what you do when you are afraid [that does not build character [it does not build character, IT REVEALS CHARACTER]”…

The update, a 5 mile fartlek, for all intents and purposes, at a gruelingly slow 12:22 pace. Sheesh. I suppose the first phase is the toughest, or perhaps the second - completing more than a mile and a half at a solid-strong pace. In the meantime, discipline, it is far too easy to just up and quit.

The stamina, frankly is sucking right now. With a little more push, I just might be able to make some headway on that however.

Who am I, sir, a Utah man am I:
A Utah man, sir, and will be till I die: Ki! Ki!
We're up to snuff: we never bluff.
We're game for any fuss.
I was caught
In the middle of a railroad track (Thunder)
I looked 'round,
And I knew there was no turning back (Thunder)
My mind raced
And I thought what could I do? (Thunder)
And I knew
There was no help, no help from you (Thunder)
Sound of the drums
Beatin' in my heart
The thunder of guns!
Tore me apart
You've been - thunderstruck!
Rode down the highway
Broke the limit, we hit the ton
Thunderstruck, thunderstruck
Yeah yeah yeah, thunderstruck
Thunderstruck, yeah, yeah, yeah
Said yeah, it's alright
We're! Doing fine
Yeah, it's alright
We're! Doing fine
So fine
Thunderstruck, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Thunderstruck, thunderstruck, thunderstruck
Whoa baby, baby, thunderstruck
You've been thunderstruck, thunderstruck
Thunderstruck, thunderstruck, thunderstruck
You've been thunderstruck
Circling your, circling your, circling your head
Contemplating everything you ever said
Now I see the truth I got a doubt
A different motive in your eyes
And now I'm out, see you later
I see your fantasy
You want to make it a reality paved in gold
See inside, inside of our heads, yeah
Well, now that's over
I see your motives inside
Decisions to hide
Back off, I'll take you on
Headstrong to take on anyone
I know that you are wrong
Headstrong, we're headstrong
Back off, I'll take you on
Headstrong to take on anyone
I walk through the valley of the shadow of death is
Top floor the view alone will leave you breathless Uhhhh!
Try to catch it Uhhhh! It's kinda hard hard
I know that you are wrong
And this is not where you belong
I can't give everything away
I won't give everything away
No other gang of college men dare meet us in the muss
God show me the way because the Devil trying to break me down
(Jesus Walks with me)
The only thing that that I pray is that my feet don't fail me now
(Jesus Walks)
And I don't think there is nothing I can do now to right my wrongs
(Jesus Walks with me)
My eyes don't need to see that ugly thing, I know it's me you fear
If you want me hold me back
frail, the skin is dry and pale, the pain will never fail
And so we go back to the remedy
Clip the wings that get you high, just leave them where they lie
And tell yourself, "you be the death of me
I don't need a friend, I need to mend so far away
So come sit by the fire and play a while, but you can't stay too long
It aches in every bone, I'll die alone, but not for pleasure
I see my heart explode, it's been eroded by the weather here
If you want me hold me back
I want to talk to God but I'm afraid because we ain't spoke in so long
There must be some way out of here," said the joker to the thief,
There's too much confusion, I can't get no relief.
Businessmen, they drink my wine, plowmen dig my earth,
None of them along the line know what any of it is worth.
No reason to get excited," the thief, he kindly spoke,
There are many here among us who feel that life is but a joke.
But you and I, we've been through that, and this is not our fate,
So let us not talk falsely now, the hour is getting late.
And when our college days are o'er and night is drawing nigh,
With parting breath we'll sing that song:
A Utah Man am I

Of course thanks to the contributors, these lyrics in part help to push me through lap 2 in my workouts, and for that extra push up the hill...

Today when I do my first two-a-day, I shall attempt to get a picture that is non-traumatic to post.