Again

Yes, again.

After being rather caught up with a nasty flu and cold in February and part of March, I was determined to get back on things, particularly the running. I am still "officially" waiting on the clearance from the doc's before I start hitting heavy miles. That has cost me a month, plus being ill, almost 3 months total.

Of course, my body is far from ready for 'real' or 'hard' miles. As it is, the muscle atrophy is so bad, that even after scant workouts, I can't yet run a full mile. Though it is closer, it is really a statement of the sad state of my body. No one to blame but me. When I got out (of the army), a few years ago, frankly I had more than enough. I needed to decompress. Then I had the brilliant idea to go back to school and be serious about it. Result, lots of stress.

School was the right choice. I needed something to focus on. Something real, tangible. A way to measure some sort of continued progress. No more awards, medals, evaluation reports, and no more 'promotions'. More than anything I needed to find myself again. I had started that path once again, finally with the right tools. But it has been a slow process. I think it must be for anyone who finds their entire being spent on a failed enterprise.

What does any of this have to do with running? Several years ago, I made a conscious decision to write a memoir. I needed to do it for me. But it was never the right time, I never quite could find the motivation to start banging out the pages. I did not want it to be a regurgitated version of Platoon or Full Metal Jacket, only in print. I wasn't in Vietnam so maybe those movies were accurate, maybe they weren't. I always found them to be a bit problematic. Feed the stereotype that all people in the service are bottom feeding animals, who have a vocabulary of 3 and 4 letter words that fit on a single-sided, double-spaced page. Well I know that is not very accurate in my experience, granted it was nearly 2 decades later.

The point is, I wanted my memoir to be something more than that. I have not been particularly impressed with some of the current conflict literature I have seen. 'Literature' is a stretch that I am not really comfortable with either. It is not that I am better than that, so much as that type of digression is not my character and never really has been. I tried to fake it a time or two and failed miserably.

When you are nine, wandering the streets of Frankfurt (A.M. Main) not Kentucky, lost and you don't speak a lick of German; it IS a life changing event. Even if you are only nine. So very early on, I learned I had to be true to myself, when push comes to shove you may find yourself in a spot. A spot, a situation, where even if you can get help - you may not be able to get to it, and it may not be able to get to you.

A year ago, I decided I would finally tackle this long lingering task of writing my memoir. Shameless plug (http://www.a-view-from-the-wall.com) I had a motive, but things have changed, but I was determined to see it through. Oddly I had gone out for a run, another failed attempt to return to running. In the intro, I talk about how my brain and eyes did not recognize my body. I had let it go so badly for so long. I suffered micro tears and pulled muscles from that run. I am not 17 anymore, I can't just go run 5 miles without injury, especially packing an extra 50 pounds. But that never stopped me from trying, which over the last 5 years has led to a number of injuries. Some minor and some, not so much.

So I waited this year until almost the end of January. I started from scratch, changes in diet, small but important. I pretended that I know nothing about my body and nothing about running, except I used to be very good at it, although many many lifetimes ago. And I re-educated myself. Hit the running store, let them gear me up, and dropped a small mini fortune on proper shoes.

In the interest of NOT repeating the injury mistake yet again, I was determined that I would not be stopped. Not by my own lack of foresight or impatience at least. So a slow start, but a start I can live with. Then I decided, to do something, well truly crazy. I decided that in honor of ringing in my 40th birthday, I want to run the "Spartathlon". (http://www.spartathlon.gr/main.php) A grueling 154 mile straight through trek from Athens to Sparta - yes in Greece. In September, and it is not cold there in September.

It is 4 years away. Plenty of time, if I play the cards right and stay uninjured. then there are the doc's I mentioned earlier. Yup, there are some heart issues in the family. Better safe than sorry. Regardless I will keep running, but that run, will test the very best athletes every time. I did not pick it because it is a cake-walk after all.

In the old days, I wasn't even a long distance guy. I was a sprinter, and not what I would consider the easy sprints. The 400 meter is a race that requires speed, and stamina. I remember my first 400 race, during the race at least 4 different times I thought my heart was going to explode inside my chest. And I was 16, cut - ripped - and in awesome shape. I could turn in a 5:45 mile at the drop of a dime. My first 400m was a 54.5 - at 4500 feet above sea level, that is really not bad for a first time out. I learned to hate that race, but I became quite good at it. As a point of reference, most high school and college tracks (around football fields) are 400 meters. Yeah try to sprint the entire thing, on your toes and balls of your feet... I will have to post a picture of what I looked like then, and don't worry there will not be any traumatic pictures of now. Not for a while, say at least -40 pounds ha ha.

So Saturday night I went out and did a hybrid run/walk/run. It was something like 5 miles, but a good workout. I can feel the strength coming back finally in my legs. They are tiring slower, and the spring is increasing. I good sign for the future, and patience and discipline are my enemies - it seems embracing them instead of fighting them is working well. This morning I went out again, a very early 430am 5 mile workout, a little better feeling than Saturday. Progress, even small, is welcome.

Now comes the discipline to keep working on things. To keep pushing the extra half a block, to push all the way over the hill. So to that end, this series fo blogs, I will do my best to track things.

I had originally planned to try my first half-marathon (no I have never run that long of a race, only a 10k twice long ago) by the end of the year. Realistically that is probably towards February of 2011. No problem. As an old saying i once heard goes, "Speed comes from slowness".

I am sure the morning commuters were a bit dismayed by the fat white guy in shorts and sweatshirt, 'trying' to trot down the sidewalk this morning, but I am doing it for me not them. More and more like the old days. Today 35 degrees and dark out, then 29 degrees and snow, shorts, sweatshirt or t-shirt. If it ends badly and I get even half way to what I once was, I just might smile.