It has been a bit of a funny week. Made yet a few more contacts. It is always nice when you actually have a little time to read and do some things you have wanted to get to for a while.
This past week has been a touch unusual in that I was able to do a few things, not strictly out of necessity. I even managed to make a trip to the library (rare than I would like lately) and breakout some microfiche. However the efforts were rewarded with some things from the past, which I was hoping to be able to find. They have already served as a bit of motivation to actually get some long-overdue personal work done. The kind of things that you want to wake up for in the morning.
Of course, breaking out to a local game and having your team come from behind in the 3rd Period to win a clincher by 1, makes the taste of victory that much sweeter!
The year closes today, in some places has already closed. It is worth reflecting on the past and recommitting to stare down the coming future. As is often phrased in football discussing defenses "...pin their ears and just flat out go after it..." That will be my 2012.
Tomorrow is today. It is not the time to wait. I once heard the saying "Today is a great day to die" and that is an excellent starting point. This of course does require a touch of explaining, as the true meaning is a much deeper philosophical perspective rather than being a literal sort of death wish.
In my personal interpretation, it means a person should pursue their dream(s) - by living 'in the moment' without submitting to fear, a person frees themselves of those pesky self imposed psychological hurdles. If you refuse to fear success, you live to win, instead of what many and myself are often so guilty of playing to not lose! If you live, to live, you get to experience life. I have often said and completely believe that living life is the hardest thing any person will ever do.
If I never taste bitter defeat, how will I ever appreciate triumph? I think it is only possible to realize the sweetness of triumph when it is combined with its nemesis, defeat. Once the two experiences have become part of the same life for us, only then can we fully appreciate triumph. Knowing the incredible work and determination that is required to accomplish something great, then you become prepared to first dream great accomplishments, second to accomplish those great things. Just because no one has done it yet DOES NOT mean it cannot be done. I do not accept that, I never have, and I refuse to surrender to such narrow perspectives of the world that reinforce such a false reality. It is not my reality.
Thus the equation makes the statement ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE or NO LIMITS true.
To that end, comes 2012.
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Sunday, July 10, 2011
The "WK" Playlist debut
WKH - this week's playlist -
Dan says "live to your own soundtrack... Blaze your own trail!"
Dan says "live to your own soundtrack... Blaze your own trail!"
- "Barroom Hero" - Dropkick Murphys
- "Heresy" - NIN
- "On The Mountain"- Throttlerod
- "Thunderhorse"- Metalcalypse
- "I'm Shipping Up to Boston"- Dropkick Murphys
- "Same Direction"- Hoobastank
- "A Will To Exist"- Burning The Day
- "Head Like A Hole"- NIN
- "Song 2"- Blur
- "Die Walkure"- Wagner
- "Requiem Aeternam"- Mozart
- "Down With the Sickness"- Disturbed
- "Just One"- Hoobastank
- "Confusion"- New Order
- "Faint"- Linkin Park
Saturday, July 9, 2011
The coming week (Jul 10-16)
This is what is on tap for the coming week.
Sunday- will be a rest-carb/load-stretch day.
Monday- ("O dark thirty") Early morning crawl, 6 miles.
Tuesday- Stretch and Ab workout.
Wednesday- Part A, Mt. Van Cott 6338 feet (1932 m; Part B, Mt. Wire 7137 feet (2175 m)
Thursday- Recovery and stretch
Friday- "Friday Night Sprints" - an unknown number of accelerations, 300m sprints, and stairs (total 8 miles)
Saturday- Recovery 2 - Saturday night - Ice Hockey baby!
GAME ON!!!
The only question left is Can I hang with me?!?
Sunday- will be a rest-carb/load-stretch day.
Monday- ("O dark thirty") Early morning crawl, 6 miles.
Tuesday- Stretch and Ab workout.
Wednesday- Part A, Mt. Van Cott 6338 feet (1932 m; Part B, Mt. Wire 7137 feet (2175 m)
Thursday- Recovery and stretch
Friday- "Friday Night Sprints" - an unknown number of accelerations, 300m sprints, and stairs (total 8 miles)
Saturday- Recovery 2 - Saturday night - Ice Hockey baby!
GAME ON!!!
The only question left is Can I hang with me?!?
Pain and determination (July 8)
Last night I returned to the track.
When I showed up, it was noticeably empty. It was a little later than I had wanted, but life - things come up that need to be done.
I decided this week I am going to start pushing on the workouts at the track. It will still hurt. I need to use some care when pushing - as the danger of injury is always lurking. I have moved to a point that reconstructing sprint or endurance workouts, at least partially, is an acceptable risk.
This is complete with proper warmups, more stretching, and now I can add calisthenics. It seems a little on the crazy side to many - not the least - the other people at the track. Usually a few joggers (who last from 30 - 45 minutes) or walkers who last about a half hour on average.
There was more sun, but with partial cloud cover not as much as two weeks ago. I was able to pull off something resembling a proper warmup and this confirms the state of the body. Too bad it doesn't look better. But after confirming many pounds lighter and seeing my blood pressure trend all the way down to 'normal' range is encouraging. It certainly took long enough on both counts.
I was definitely on my toes today. I was able to finish off an 8 turn workout of sprints. I probably pushed a bit too hard today.I can feel a couple of knots in the left calf, which has been especially susceptible to injury - but it is a good sign of the increase in muscle strength. Of course for the others at the track to see an obviously fatter man to go screaming by at a full sprint is probably not the most thrilling thing in the world. Of course I am not there for them, this is about me getting to where I need to be. Push the lungs, make them expand beyond what they can do - is the only realistic way to get them whipped back into shape.
Trying to get used to people using the track, without knowing proper track etiquette - is a rather frustrating prospect. The faster you are going, you are supposed to be closer or all the way to the "inside" lanes of the track. Of course people bring their kids, most armed with bicycles or foot scooters. And then there are the people who bring their 'little dog' syndrome pets who think the track is their personal home ground they need to protect from any person who even looks at the track. (I reserve further comment on this.) Several people bring their dogs - and most of them behave very well, as a dog person myself, I have no complaints. If it doesn't bite me (nor act like it is going to bite me) hey it is a public place. Some are quite friendly.
Last night was a lot of stairs. In two weeks, I will break out the "leg-stair" workouts. I think at that point I will have lost enough weight that I can push the tendons in my legs further than they have been in a decade. In the meantime I want to make sure I don't risk any major injuries of that type. A sort of wait and see how this week goes.
If the next two weeks go well, I may just peel the the top off a case in three weeks. This would mean that I would reach into the closet, pull out the spikes, and do some serious "toe" sprinting. The track is a beautiful mondo surface track now. Gone is the nasty black fiberglass that wears away. In that case, I will most likely scare a few people. As it is, I can accelerate for about 180 meters, and full out sprint (although much slower than I ever was before) for 130 meters. Not to get ahead of myself, but I may be pulling 300's in a month, and possibly 500's by the end of summer. So far so good. As the weight slims off the pulls get faster and the workouts can get more serious. All bodes well for the start of over-distance by September. That will help to line me up for a couple of 5k, 10k shots in the fall. Hopefully with improved times. Even finishing a 5k at this point would be a big step.
Time to get serious and start putting some 'workouts' together - finally. A decade in the making. Progress is good. Planning is key. Perfect practice makes perfect. This journey is not and will not be perfect. It just needs to be the right kind of journey for me.
When I showed up, it was noticeably empty. It was a little later than I had wanted, but life - things come up that need to be done.
I decided this week I am going to start pushing on the workouts at the track. It will still hurt. I need to use some care when pushing - as the danger of injury is always lurking. I have moved to a point that reconstructing sprint or endurance workouts, at least partially, is an acceptable risk.
This is complete with proper warmups, more stretching, and now I can add calisthenics. It seems a little on the crazy side to many - not the least - the other people at the track. Usually a few joggers (who last from 30 - 45 minutes) or walkers who last about a half hour on average.
There was more sun, but with partial cloud cover not as much as two weeks ago. I was able to pull off something resembling a proper warmup and this confirms the state of the body. Too bad it doesn't look better. But after confirming many pounds lighter and seeing my blood pressure trend all the way down to 'normal' range is encouraging. It certainly took long enough on both counts.
I was definitely on my toes today. I was able to finish off an 8 turn workout of sprints. I probably pushed a bit too hard today.I can feel a couple of knots in the left calf, which has been especially susceptible to injury - but it is a good sign of the increase in muscle strength. Of course for the others at the track to see an obviously fatter man to go screaming by at a full sprint is probably not the most thrilling thing in the world. Of course I am not there for them, this is about me getting to where I need to be. Push the lungs, make them expand beyond what they can do - is the only realistic way to get them whipped back into shape.
Trying to get used to people using the track, without knowing proper track etiquette - is a rather frustrating prospect. The faster you are going, you are supposed to be closer or all the way to the "inside" lanes of the track. Of course people bring their kids, most armed with bicycles or foot scooters. And then there are the people who bring their 'little dog' syndrome pets who think the track is their personal home ground they need to protect from any person who even looks at the track. (I reserve further comment on this.) Several people bring their dogs - and most of them behave very well, as a dog person myself, I have no complaints. If it doesn't bite me (nor act like it is going to bite me) hey it is a public place. Some are quite friendly.
Last night was a lot of stairs. In two weeks, I will break out the "leg-stair" workouts. I think at that point I will have lost enough weight that I can push the tendons in my legs further than they have been in a decade. In the meantime I want to make sure I don't risk any major injuries of that type. A sort of wait and see how this week goes.
If the next two weeks go well, I may just peel the the top off a case in three weeks. This would mean that I would reach into the closet, pull out the spikes, and do some serious "toe" sprinting. The track is a beautiful mondo surface track now. Gone is the nasty black fiberglass that wears away. In that case, I will most likely scare a few people. As it is, I can accelerate for about 180 meters, and full out sprint (although much slower than I ever was before) for 130 meters. Not to get ahead of myself, but I may be pulling 300's in a month, and possibly 500's by the end of summer. So far so good. As the weight slims off the pulls get faster and the workouts can get more serious. All bodes well for the start of over-distance by September. That will help to line me up for a couple of 5k, 10k shots in the fall. Hopefully with improved times. Even finishing a 5k at this point would be a big step.
Time to get serious and start putting some 'workouts' together - finally. A decade in the making. Progress is good. Planning is key. Perfect practice makes perfect. This journey is not and will not be perfect. It just needs to be the right kind of journey for me.
The 4AM patrol (July 5)
Let us just say that I do not react well to loud, successive explosions. Sure it is just the 4th of July and people like to celebrate with fireworks, it is understandable. A career of dodging similar sounds... it was a bad weekend. I got about 4 hours of total sleep. The thing is, in other places, explosions mean you are up preparing for the next bit, and at 150% alertness for 2-4 hours AFTER each additional explosion.
Bottle Rockets = incoming artillery
multi-explosive color wheels = incoming zip rockets
firecrackers = eerily familiar to AK-47 or SKS bursts
then there are the roses = sound like friendly flares, starclusters usually marking shift-fires or signal flares
cherry bombs = grenades or RPG impacts
Of course where I live, people are not real considerate on any count and this mischief goes on until 2 or 3 in the morning.
So for the Fourth this year, as the Sun crawled behind the mountains, I put myself out for the night early. I ran a loud fan and tv for background noise to help dampen the 'outside activity' that had kept me from sleeping all weekend. It worked.
I woke up around 4. It was some pretty good sleep all things considered. I was not pulled from sleep by noise, which was precisely my point after all. I figured, I had taken a weekend off, no time is better for a run than right now. I pulled out the gear, and went out the door.
It was only about a 4 mile run, but it felt good. Cool summer air, it was dark, and no one was out - not yet. A few cops passed me as I trotted down the sidewalks in my unconventional gear. There is always something surreal about that. I have an old "torch" flashlight, that will blind the jeepers out of about anyone or anything. It is an effective thing to have. It happens to not be dangerous by most standards and can double as something else in a pinch. By the last mile, I had attracted the steady interest of the cops. After the 4th pass, and they slow down as they pass me, you know you are being watched. Frankly a little funny. It must have been the almost all black get-up. But I carry ID, in case they decide to be more curious. I can't say that I blame them, the area is crawling with with, misguided teenagers. I used to be one myself.
At the end, it felt good. A solid workout. The stamina of the core muscles continues to improve. There will always be the latent soreness and what not. It is what it is. But that is to be expected, I know this whole venture is going to just hurt on many days. The nature of things.
Bottle Rockets = incoming artillery
multi-explosive color wheels = incoming zip rockets
firecrackers = eerily familiar to AK-47 or SKS bursts
then there are the roses = sound like friendly flares, starclusters usually marking shift-fires or signal flares
cherry bombs = grenades or RPG impacts
Of course where I live, people are not real considerate on any count and this mischief goes on until 2 or 3 in the morning.
So for the Fourth this year, as the Sun crawled behind the mountains, I put myself out for the night early. I ran a loud fan and tv for background noise to help dampen the 'outside activity' that had kept me from sleeping all weekend. It worked.
I woke up around 4. It was some pretty good sleep all things considered. I was not pulled from sleep by noise, which was precisely my point after all. I figured, I had taken a weekend off, no time is better for a run than right now. I pulled out the gear, and went out the door.
It was only about a 4 mile run, but it felt good. Cool summer air, it was dark, and no one was out - not yet. A few cops passed me as I trotted down the sidewalks in my unconventional gear. There is always something surreal about that. I have an old "torch" flashlight, that will blind the jeepers out of about anyone or anything. It is an effective thing to have. It happens to not be dangerous by most standards and can double as something else in a pinch. By the last mile, I had attracted the steady interest of the cops. After the 4th pass, and they slow down as they pass me, you know you are being watched. Frankly a little funny. It must have been the almost all black get-up. But I carry ID, in case they decide to be more curious. I can't say that I blame them, the area is crawling with with, misguided teenagers. I used to be one myself.
At the end, it felt good. A solid workout. The stamina of the core muscles continues to improve. There will always be the latent soreness and what not. It is what it is. But that is to be expected, I know this whole venture is going to just hurt on many days. The nature of things.
Mosquitoes and Sunburn (June 24)
I arrived at the track early. The sun was just baking. No worries, another hard day of workout.
After managing to get up on my toes a few times, it just felt good. The body is starting to accept the workouts. Certainly no more happy about them, but when muscles are being somewhat cooperative - this is not a small victory. These days every victory is important.
It was a good solid workout, and I knew I was going to be sore. But this has never been about the easy path. There is no pampering on the track. You push hard, until you can't push anymore. Then you push a little bit more and turn the volume down a notch or two. Once the reserve is back, you turn the volume back up.
A three hour workout, you can't go full speed for the entire duration. As much as these are about the workouts, they are also about the building up the stamina. The darker side is the realization that there needs to be more mental focus, more grit, more determination. It is a practical restoration of many things lost or shattered.
This also means that I must fight through the hot spots, blisters, aches, and sore muscles. They are all required. Pain is not some cliche, it reminds you of the simple fact you are alive. It also happens to be a barometer of measurement - measuring progress.
Of course even with good (dark Mediterranean) blood, it has been many years since my skin has been exposed to summer sun for hours. The result a nice sunburn. It turned to a very deep tan for about a week before peeling. Par for the course. Due to that I took the weekend of the Fourth off. My body probably needed the rest anyway.
After managing to get up on my toes a few times, it just felt good. The body is starting to accept the workouts. Certainly no more happy about them, but when muscles are being somewhat cooperative - this is not a small victory. These days every victory is important.
It was a good solid workout, and I knew I was going to be sore. But this has never been about the easy path. There is no pampering on the track. You push hard, until you can't push anymore. Then you push a little bit more and turn the volume down a notch or two. Once the reserve is back, you turn the volume back up.
A three hour workout, you can't go full speed for the entire duration. As much as these are about the workouts, they are also about the building up the stamina. The darker side is the realization that there needs to be more mental focus, more grit, more determination. It is a practical restoration of many things lost or shattered.
This also means that I must fight through the hot spots, blisters, aches, and sore muscles. They are all required. Pain is not some cliche, it reminds you of the simple fact you are alive. It also happens to be a barometer of measurement - measuring progress.
Of course even with good (dark Mediterranean) blood, it has been many years since my skin has been exposed to summer sun for hours. The result a nice sunburn. It turned to a very deep tan for about a week before peeling. Par for the course. Due to that I took the weekend of the Fourth off. My body probably needed the rest anyway.
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Hell Week, Day One
Well it has begun. Hell week begins with a 6.5 mile workout. A new tradition has begun. Every Friday night is a return, a pilgrimage to that storied track of mine. Last week there were at least 20 people jogging and walking. This week about 12, in small groups of 2 and 3, spread over a 3 hour block of time.
It is not about them, this what I do, is about progress and improvement. Not a major bump, but tonight I realized in the latter half of my own workout that this journey of mine is going to be chalk full of scrapes-bruises-soreness, and just downright pain.
Grit and determination. It is pretty evident that I pulled my left leg calf muscle tonight in my run, jog, walk, spring combination. Re-instill discipline. There will be no running for one week. Still workouts, but zero running. I managed to walk out the pull after stabilizing it. I walked it out for 2 more miles. It is going to hurt and throb tomorrow like a sonovagun. Massaged, and prepped for the ride home. No problem already feels a bit sore, but it is lightly wrapped for the night to prevent out of control swelling.
Today was tough. On the bright side instead of consuming 3 meals in post recovery shut down for the night, It was kept at about 300 Calories. I did not feel like I was going to die, and my body does not feel nearly as depleted. The workout breathing has improved, and I have seen my HR/BP dial back to near normal, finally, for the first time in more years than I want to remember.
In 2 days I will hit a short 2 mile trail hike. Then we will see for next week. Looks like some hard core body workouts, and dial back the distance workouts until next Friday. Next friday will see a very light version of tonight for only 6 miles, provided the calf is doing okay. Can not afford muscle tears. It seems and acts like a minor pull, as it has yet to swell up. Keeping it working should help the recovery, which will hurt like hell, but come out undamaged, just touchy pain nerves.
This is a small bump, as I knew there would be and will be many, that is livable and does not change the dynamic of training. More motivation to ditch 40 pounds in 4 months. That will have a significant reduction of injury risk factor for sure. Tired of looking at the extra person anyway!
On the way. This won't be easy. It will test my mettle everyday. It will be the next toughest thing I ever do. But this is my journey. This is the path that I have chosen. For me, this is the right way. Grit and Determination will get me through, once again.
It is not about them, this what I do, is about progress and improvement. Not a major bump, but tonight I realized in the latter half of my own workout that this journey of mine is going to be chalk full of scrapes-bruises-soreness, and just downright pain.
Grit and determination. It is pretty evident that I pulled my left leg calf muscle tonight in my run, jog, walk, spring combination. Re-instill discipline. There will be no running for one week. Still workouts, but zero running. I managed to walk out the pull after stabilizing it. I walked it out for 2 more miles. It is going to hurt and throb tomorrow like a sonovagun. Massaged, and prepped for the ride home. No problem already feels a bit sore, but it is lightly wrapped for the night to prevent out of control swelling.
Today was tough. On the bright side instead of consuming 3 meals in post recovery shut down for the night, It was kept at about 300 Calories. I did not feel like I was going to die, and my body does not feel nearly as depleted. The workout breathing has improved, and I have seen my HR/BP dial back to near normal, finally, for the first time in more years than I want to remember.
In 2 days I will hit a short 2 mile trail hike. Then we will see for next week. Looks like some hard core body workouts, and dial back the distance workouts until next Friday. Next friday will see a very light version of tonight for only 6 miles, provided the calf is doing okay. Can not afford muscle tears. It seems and acts like a minor pull, as it has yet to swell up. Keeping it working should help the recovery, which will hurt like hell, but come out undamaged, just touchy pain nerves.
This is a small bump, as I knew there would be and will be many, that is livable and does not change the dynamic of training. More motivation to ditch 40 pounds in 4 months. That will have a significant reduction of injury risk factor for sure. Tired of looking at the extra person anyway!
On the way. This won't be easy. It will test my mettle everyday. It will be the next toughest thing I ever do. But this is my journey. This is the path that I have chosen. For me, this is the right way. Grit and Determination will get me through, once again.
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Serious & Focus = Day One Zero Week. "Grit, Pain, Determination"
With other peripheral stresses on the sideline it was time to ramp it up. It has been nearly a year since a serious injury. Welcome to Zero Week! Things are going to get rough. This is where the money is made. Yeah the extra eighty pounds, yes as in 80. It will stop. Sincerely enough is enough. Taking into account the necessity to beware of injury again. Sometimes one must run before they walk. That time has long since arrived.
I certainly know what it takes to succeed. Hence this entry’s title. Grit - Pain - Determination. There will be tears, there will be blood, and lord knows there will be bruises and not aching but SCREAMING muscles. Every single morning. One day on, one day off. There is no championship, there is no glory. It will hurt. It will test my commitment each time out the door. Some days I will hardly be able to walk. But this is the necessity.
A darkness of storm had rolled in. It was painful. Every nerve in every muscle being shocked to life as each pounding of landing toes. For two hours. Heart racing, lungs burning. At the first half mile Is this really a good idea? It would be so easy to just quit. Can’t quit, too late for that now. Damn it hurt.
As the saying goes, ‘pain is weakness (or sometimes fear) leaving the body. Grit is a word associated with Scrappiness, hard deliberate work, “Heart” and not the Valentine’s type. It was high time. Pain will be. This is not the easy road. Can a repeat be achieved, a perfect undefeated stretch? No absolutely not. There will be defeat and failure on this road. It is not the path of journey for the faint of heart. Every time you falter, every time you fall down, you believe. It is about getting up when you fall, no matter what. You don't quit because of one bad day, or two or ten. You keep pushing. You get better, and then you push some more! It is not easy, it is hard, tough, and it WILL suck. It is a gut check. When you run out, you reach way down and find some more. When you run out again, you just keep going. One foot in front of the other. It is that simple. Not easy, simple, and it will be the toughest thing you ever do.
There was merely fleeting hope for the competition. As happened many times before throughout the season, when it came down to Grit, Heart, and hard tough work, we had never considered enough had been done by us. We always pushed. We stayed late after exhausting practices. Just being good enough was not enough. We didn’t want to be better than “them” - we wanted to be better than us.
Each week, brought faster times. Each week brought a faster all time record. Each week we worked our guts out, and then pushed some more.
No, I know what grit is. We knew pain, and blisters, and exhaustion. We embraced them. We were in the end, rewarded with satisfaction. In 202 seconds, we had staged a monumental coup d’état of our field. That final day as we walked out to begin the last race, we knew that we could win. We knew we would win. We just had to give everything, and were burdened with the simple task of not screwing it up.
It was a triumph of will over odds. Now on the eve of the two decade anniversary, it is time again to work. It is time again to be better than myself. Everything must be pushed to the limit, and then far beyond. As the thunderheads rolled in over the valley, black and full of attitude, I embraced the suck. It will be my only dependable companion in this journey. It is time to reinvest, gritty scrappy determination.
Today was DAY ONE, ZERO WEEK. The journey has begun. It will suck. It must be done.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
NOTICE - Posted to facebook a week ago
It is already turning out to be the 'year of the rainmaker' for me. Things are finally getting done this year. Which means that more progress will continue to be made. Including all things, most importantly here, the running. Only 8 months left to train in the mountains, so now is no time to slide off by the wayside and turn apathetic.
NO, today, I run. Today, the trio (me, my ego, and I) run. Tomorrow we run a little more, a little further than today, and we run harder. Why? Because for the first time in over a decade, I AM MASTER of ME once again. Some things should never be relinquished, not by accident, and not by design. Fear is not something I fear. I no longer fear myself. I embrace me, and most important, I accept myself.
The changes have already begun. The path, is the journey, the adventure of the journey IS precisely the point. I have long lived by blazing my own trail. Once again I am ready, and 'blazing' my own proper trail. It is not easy nor for the faint of heart. A difficult but worthy adventure!
"Dan is back."
2011
NOTICE:
After a long standing hiatus (since 1998), Dan has returned. To quote a friend of over two decades, "Dan don't play." Things and projects will get finished this year in a timely manner. A recent observation was made, "At the start you had these long-term goals you were working towards. It seemed that they were impossible, but you kept working at them from various angles no matter how bad things were. Now, everything seems to finally be lining up and paying off. It is a good change, I am not sure I thought those goals would come to fruition, but you remained determined. It is quite a change for the better. I'm impressed with how things are turning out for you."
Once, I had someone tell me "You are kind of short to run the 400 aren't you?" This kid and I were both running the second of four legs in the 1600 meter (Mile) relay. I just looked at him and didn't say anything. My mental response was, 'I wonder what he thinks now that I just smoked past him in the race after being behind?' I never saw him again, and I must assume that my response - sprinting past him on the track - was enough to keep him from coming back for a second snide remark (He wasn't special, in fact I offered this same response to nearly everyone who ever fielded the track against me). I have no time for rude and ignorant people, I never did. That day, as every other day in our season that year, my brothers, from the disrespected high school Cyprus, won every race we ran. All the way to and including a State Championship. Final time for our mile = 3:21.7 yes 3 minutes 21.7 seconds. Not bad for some white teenagers from the poorer side of town. Not bad at all!
It is with that 'special kind of arrogance' that I do declare I am back. I am not a bad guy and not even a jerk most of the time, but I am not to be trifled with. I am a serious person, and should be taken seriously. No fear, fear not, and fear...
NO, today, I run. Today, the trio (me, my ego, and I) run. Tomorrow we run a little more, a little further than today, and we run harder. Why? Because for the first time in over a decade, I AM MASTER of ME once again. Some things should never be relinquished, not by accident, and not by design. Fear is not something I fear. I no longer fear myself. I embrace me, and most important, I accept myself.
The changes have already begun. The path, is the journey, the adventure of the journey IS precisely the point. I have long lived by blazing my own trail. Once again I am ready, and 'blazing' my own proper trail. It is not easy nor for the faint of heart. A difficult but worthy adventure!
"Dan is back."
2011
NOTICE:
After a long standing hiatus (since 1998), Dan has returned. To quote a friend of over two decades, "Dan don't play." Things and projects will get finished this year in a timely manner. A recent observation was made, "At the start you had these long-term goals you were working towards. It seemed that they were impossible, but you kept working at them from various angles no matter how bad things were. Now, everything seems to finally be lining up and paying off. It is a good change, I am not sure I thought those goals would come to fruition, but you remained determined. It is quite a change for the better. I'm impressed with how things are turning out for you."
Once, I had someone tell me "You are kind of short to run the 400 aren't you?" This kid and I were both running the second of four legs in the 1600 meter (Mile) relay. I just looked at him and didn't say anything. My mental response was, 'I wonder what he thinks now that I just smoked past him in the race after being behind?' I never saw him again, and I must assume that my response - sprinting past him on the track - was enough to keep him from coming back for a second snide remark (He wasn't special, in fact I offered this same response to nearly everyone who ever fielded the track against me). I have no time for rude and ignorant people, I never did. That day, as every other day in our season that year, my brothers, from the disrespected high school Cyprus, won every race we ran. All the way to and including a State Championship. Final time for our mile = 3:21.7 yes 3 minutes 21.7 seconds. Not bad for some white teenagers from the poorer side of town. Not bad at all!
It is with that 'special kind of arrogance' that I do declare I am back. I am not a bad guy and not even a jerk most of the time, but I am not to be trifled with. I am a serious person, and should be taken seriously. No fear, fear not, and fear...
Monday, July 12, 2010
Blazing my own trail, again
July 2010
I have always felt that ‘blazing my own trail’ was the correct path for me. It is something that has often put me in, “interesting” positions.
This week closed as the first, truly good week, that I can recall in a very long time. I was able to get some trivial details taken care, of course more of my books arrived, I managed to sneak a very therapeutic road-trip, and to close out the week 90 minutes of exhausting time on the ice.
In other news, I finally saw a doctor who actually listened to what I had to say about these chronic tears and pulls in my legs. As such I will not have to fork over money out of my own pocket. It was agreed that ‘images, namely MRI, ought to be done to investigate what is going on with my calve muscles. Finally…
So with that information, it was enough to jerk me out of the ‘feel sorry for myself - hopeless’ mode. Friday I took my goalie gear to the local car wash. That certainly turned the heads who were there. 5$ later, my pads were all dripping wet. Friday was my 500 mile road-trip, and Saturday night, I was in the locker room putting the pads on.
Did I mention I could barely skate off the ice? I mean barely. In a strange way I guess it was nostalgic, going back to a Saturday night many years ago. I had just finished help ‘push’ most of my unit on planes to Baghdad. I had about 18 hours until I was getting on the plane myself, one of the last from our unit. It happened to be Saturday night, so I packed up my pads and drove to the rink. After 2 hours I could barely walk. It was quite a workout. When the rink was locked up at almost midnight I drove to the grocery store to get some food to help with my recovery. After all, the next morning I was going to be loading a plane, again, and going to war.
What was different about leaving for Iraq, I honestly did not think I was coming back. So in the grand scheme of things, that slim chance to play hockey one last time - I considered it was a treat from the gods. I made as much use of the opportunity as I could.
So as I lifted my sweaty goalie gear into the car Saturday night, a dark and nearly empty parking lot at the rink; it reminded me of that July Saturday night so many years ago. Nearly midnight, both times, I went straight for Gatorade and a pile of tacos to help push my body’s recovery. A few bruises and sore today, but it was worth it.
Here’s to hoping there are more Saturday nights filled with this kind of memory. The running won’t start until there is a better idea of the medical implications - answers to the cause of the mysterious problems. But in the meantime, it does seem that the legs can handle some moderate work, so this week, that work will begin again.
I have always felt that ‘blazing my own trail’ was the correct path for me. It is something that has often put me in, “interesting” positions.
This week closed as the first, truly good week, that I can recall in a very long time. I was able to get some trivial details taken care, of course more of my books arrived, I managed to sneak a very therapeutic road-trip, and to close out the week 90 minutes of exhausting time on the ice.
In other news, I finally saw a doctor who actually listened to what I had to say about these chronic tears and pulls in my legs. As such I will not have to fork over money out of my own pocket. It was agreed that ‘images, namely MRI, ought to be done to investigate what is going on with my calve muscles. Finally…
So with that information, it was enough to jerk me out of the ‘feel sorry for myself - hopeless’ mode. Friday I took my goalie gear to the local car wash. That certainly turned the heads who were there. 5$ later, my pads were all dripping wet. Friday was my 500 mile road-trip, and Saturday night, I was in the locker room putting the pads on.
Did I mention I could barely skate off the ice? I mean barely. In a strange way I guess it was nostalgic, going back to a Saturday night many years ago. I had just finished help ‘push’ most of my unit on planes to Baghdad. I had about 18 hours until I was getting on the plane myself, one of the last from our unit. It happened to be Saturday night, so I packed up my pads and drove to the rink. After 2 hours I could barely walk. It was quite a workout. When the rink was locked up at almost midnight I drove to the grocery store to get some food to help with my recovery. After all, the next morning I was going to be loading a plane, again, and going to war.
What was different about leaving for Iraq, I honestly did not think I was coming back. So in the grand scheme of things, that slim chance to play hockey one last time - I considered it was a treat from the gods. I made as much use of the opportunity as I could.
So as I lifted my sweaty goalie gear into the car Saturday night, a dark and nearly empty parking lot at the rink; it reminded me of that July Saturday night so many years ago. Nearly midnight, both times, I went straight for Gatorade and a pile of tacos to help push my body’s recovery. A few bruises and sore today, but it was worth it.
Here’s to hoping there are more Saturday nights filled with this kind of memory. The running won’t start until there is a better idea of the medical implications - answers to the cause of the mysterious problems. But in the meantime, it does seem that the legs can handle some moderate work, so this week, that work will begin again.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
4 - the first injury
Well it happened. The VA of course claims that there is no possible way that my chronic muscle tears can in any way be related to my service abroad. Yet this evening’s tear, brings the cumulative total to about 14 times that my running and exercise has been effectively grounded since 2003. Funny how before that, in a very aggressive running career of hundreds of miles, I had one muscle pull, not even a full blown tear.
The first question tomorrow is going to be how long can I expect to wait before I see anyone? Seeing someone who actually knows what the heck they are doing, well I can plan 6 months, at a minimum. And I will have to fight my way through the ridiculous bureaucracy and ‘justify’ why I need to see an Ortho person.
Not even a block, less than a quarter mile.
I feel like the universe is indeed fighting every step I take. People don’t understand when I say that I am frankly worn out. How can anyone who doesn’t know understand. You think you are doing the right thing, or at least the right thing for you. Honestly I am not a fan of trying to struggle through and just bide on the way side. There are things that I want to do. And the politically correct and feel good of ‘oh it will be okay, it will work out, don’t worry”, is the kind of thing that turns me off.
I think sometimes we all need a little comfort and some reassurance. Pardon me if I want to catch a break. And when a few things go right for me, I get a little excited. But it is all I have. My life is certainly not exciting. It is pretty dull, and it sucks most of the time. I do my best to not bitch about it, but you know it never ends.
Not that I have the money, but even if I wanted to go and get good health insurance, so I could see a doctor sooner - I am disqualified. Oddly I should be in favor of the recent reform, but all I see coming in the future, just makes me want to run away and turn in my citizenship when I get to the border. In the end does it really matter.
This is an example of a moment, that I think back, and really truly wish that ‘HESCO’ had not been between me and that insurgent mortar round. Sadly it was, and thus I am here. I don’t mind the hard work, but I want some level of comfort. A very basic level, that allows me to get un-interrupted sleep just for one whole week. I can’t even get undisturbed sleep for one night. I would like to have a lower level of stress. It would be nice to deal with a primary care provider who actually “listened” to what I had to say about my problems so that maybe we can pursue effect treatment to correct them, instead of turning into a junkie of prescription drugs simply because I am being stubborn (the audacity I must have to expect to express my issues and try things before popping pills, who do I think I am?)
It is tragic. Is this the end of my running, hell no! But I fear I may be down for a little bit. Determination, yes I have that. I am definitely a little fired up tonight.
Do others have it worse than me? Yes many do. Here’s my question in response though. Where is my due? Because I sacrificed a marriage, friends, my mental health, my physical health, my state of mind; and every day I carry this burden on my shoulders. So yes I am entitled to feel a little grumpy on occasion. I am allowed to question the mythical ‘all knowing’ leaders, because frankly they are idiots.
There is no break for me, no special treatment. Everything I have been able to get, I have busted my ass to get it. And I can’t even get the straight answers that I deserve, I am sorry that is wrong. Don’t tell me anything unless you are willing to take responsibility for what you say. I don’t run around and rape, murder, or rob people. Don’t try to make it look like I am one of those people. I don’t condone violence, period.
There is something wrong, and that something is that I am still here. The bonus time, has not been worth the extra that is included with it. A little bit of satisfaction. Imagine getting good news, or something cool happens, only to be painted as bragging. After all the shit you waded through, still there are people who want to piss on you because you have had the drive, even in the face of fear to pursue the things you love, what you are passionate about.
I will pursue, and I suppose that the real friends and the casual or fake friends will bear themselves out. I can only worry about me. There is really nothing else I can do. Trying to please other people for sake of pleasing other people, is much like trying to live up to other people’s expectations of you. It is a dangerous and often deadly proposition, I would just as soon skip. There is something to be said for cultivating your own mind, your own goals, your own personality. In the end, you have to be happy with yourself or you will hate everyone and everything around you.
Then all the things that are supposed to be good in life become poison. After that who can possibly know what is to come. I can do my best to live my life to its fullest potential in my own way. Beyond that, I have no control. And I am worn out on people who think anything else is realistic. I demand a lot of myself, and that will not change. I just want people to be “real” or “genuine”. My how I loathe “fake”. What is done is done.
So here’s to hoping that the doctors are not complete assholes, however unlikely that might be. They will tell me things like “you set too high of goals for yourself” - well, I won’t respond here. That is just not an acceptable answer to me, heaven forbid that I won’t just convince myself to roll over and die so they won’t be bothered to actually do the job they get paid for.
The first question tomorrow is going to be how long can I expect to wait before I see anyone? Seeing someone who actually knows what the heck they are doing, well I can plan 6 months, at a minimum. And I will have to fight my way through the ridiculous bureaucracy and ‘justify’ why I need to see an Ortho person.
Not even a block, less than a quarter mile.
I feel like the universe is indeed fighting every step I take. People don’t understand when I say that I am frankly worn out. How can anyone who doesn’t know understand. You think you are doing the right thing, or at least the right thing for you. Honestly I am not a fan of trying to struggle through and just bide on the way side. There are things that I want to do. And the politically correct and feel good of ‘oh it will be okay, it will work out, don’t worry”, is the kind of thing that turns me off.
I think sometimes we all need a little comfort and some reassurance. Pardon me if I want to catch a break. And when a few things go right for me, I get a little excited. But it is all I have. My life is certainly not exciting. It is pretty dull, and it sucks most of the time. I do my best to not bitch about it, but you know it never ends.
Not that I have the money, but even if I wanted to go and get good health insurance, so I could see a doctor sooner - I am disqualified. Oddly I should be in favor of the recent reform, but all I see coming in the future, just makes me want to run away and turn in my citizenship when I get to the border. In the end does it really matter.
This is an example of a moment, that I think back, and really truly wish that ‘HESCO’ had not been between me and that insurgent mortar round. Sadly it was, and thus I am here. I don’t mind the hard work, but I want some level of comfort. A very basic level, that allows me to get un-interrupted sleep just for one whole week. I can’t even get undisturbed sleep for one night. I would like to have a lower level of stress. It would be nice to deal with a primary care provider who actually “listened” to what I had to say about my problems so that maybe we can pursue effect treatment to correct them, instead of turning into a junkie of prescription drugs simply because I am being stubborn (the audacity I must have to expect to express my issues and try things before popping pills, who do I think I am?)
It is tragic. Is this the end of my running, hell no! But I fear I may be down for a little bit. Determination, yes I have that. I am definitely a little fired up tonight.
Do others have it worse than me? Yes many do. Here’s my question in response though. Where is my due? Because I sacrificed a marriage, friends, my mental health, my physical health, my state of mind; and every day I carry this burden on my shoulders. So yes I am entitled to feel a little grumpy on occasion. I am allowed to question the mythical ‘all knowing’ leaders, because frankly they are idiots.
There is no break for me, no special treatment. Everything I have been able to get, I have busted my ass to get it. And I can’t even get the straight answers that I deserve, I am sorry that is wrong. Don’t tell me anything unless you are willing to take responsibility for what you say. I don’t run around and rape, murder, or rob people. Don’t try to make it look like I am one of those people. I don’t condone violence, period.
There is something wrong, and that something is that I am still here. The bonus time, has not been worth the extra that is included with it. A little bit of satisfaction. Imagine getting good news, or something cool happens, only to be painted as bragging. After all the shit you waded through, still there are people who want to piss on you because you have had the drive, even in the face of fear to pursue the things you love, what you are passionate about.
I will pursue, and I suppose that the real friends and the casual or fake friends will bear themselves out. I can only worry about me. There is really nothing else I can do. Trying to please other people for sake of pleasing other people, is much like trying to live up to other people’s expectations of you. It is a dangerous and often deadly proposition, I would just as soon skip. There is something to be said for cultivating your own mind, your own goals, your own personality. In the end, you have to be happy with yourself or you will hate everyone and everything around you.
Then all the things that are supposed to be good in life become poison. After that who can possibly know what is to come. I can do my best to live my life to its fullest potential in my own way. Beyond that, I have no control. And I am worn out on people who think anything else is realistic. I demand a lot of myself, and that will not change. I just want people to be “real” or “genuine”. My how I loathe “fake”. What is done is done.
So here’s to hoping that the doctors are not complete assholes, however unlikely that might be. They will tell me things like “you set too high of goals for yourself” - well, I won’t respond here. That is just not an acceptable answer to me, heaven forbid that I won’t just convince myself to roll over and die so they won’t be bothered to actually do the job they get paid for.
Monday, April 12, 2010
Entry 3 - Wired Up
It is very early, another night trouble sleeping. Man does it ever suck! One day I just want to be able to go to sleep, without any help. One day.
Friday I was given the results of one of my tests. I am now 75% cleared. If only my body was up to 75% capacity. The stamina has been very slow to increase, much slower than I prefer.
Saturday was a botched paper, but still good practice. There are moments that you realize you just get pre-judged. There is really nothing to be done about it.
So a run, an attempt at a longer run of 4 miles and change today. It is time to start pushing a bit. Stretch, modified tune list, and the dark sky. It is warm enough I can travel light on clothing for a change. It always feels good to trot along in the cool air. Of course at 59, some do not consider that very cool at all. I consider it a ‘comfortable’ temperature.
A good workout is just what I need to start the day off. Even if it is considerably early for most peoples’ definition at 330. I keep telling myself that I will need to push a little harder and return to my former ways if I am to obtain my goals.
Discipline, and patience. Preparation prevents injury, but today I will push hard. The cliché “pain is fear leaving the body”. There was a time that I truly had no fear. In order to accomplish the impossible, the impossible needs to become possible, probable. In that, a state on the fine edge between insanity and brilliance, is the place I will need to be in order to push my body for a grueling 154 miles across plains and up mountains.
Today, a test of fortitude stares me in the face. As I often say: “It is not a question of being afraid or not [everyone gets scared], it is about what you do when you are afraid [that does not build character [it does not build character, IT REVEALS CHARACTER]”…
The update, a 5 mile fartlek, for all intents and purposes, at a gruelingly slow 12:22 pace. Sheesh. I suppose the first phase is the toughest, or perhaps the second - completing more than a mile and a half at a solid-strong pace. In the meantime, discipline, it is far too easy to just up and quit.
The stamina, frankly is sucking right now. With a little more push, I just might be able to make some headway on that however.
Who am I, sir, a Utah man am I:
A Utah man, sir, and will be till I die: Ki! Ki!
We're up to snuff: we never bluff.
We're game for any fuss.
I was caught
In the middle of a railroad track (Thunder)
I looked 'round,
And I knew there was no turning back (Thunder)
My mind raced
And I thought what could I do? (Thunder)
And I knew
There was no help, no help from you (Thunder)
Sound of the drums
Beatin' in my heart
The thunder of guns!
Tore me apart
You've been - thunderstruck!
Rode down the highway
Broke the limit, we hit the ton
Thunderstruck, thunderstruck
Yeah yeah yeah, thunderstruck
Thunderstruck, yeah, yeah, yeah
Said yeah, it's alright
We're! Doing fine
Yeah, it's alright
We're! Doing fine
So fine
Thunderstruck, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Thunderstruck, thunderstruck, thunderstruck
Whoa baby, baby, thunderstruck
You've been thunderstruck, thunderstruck
Thunderstruck, thunderstruck, thunderstruck
You've been thunderstruck
Circling your, circling your, circling your head
Contemplating everything you ever said
Now I see the truth I got a doubt
A different motive in your eyes
And now I'm out, see you later
I see your fantasy
You want to make it a reality paved in gold
See inside, inside of our heads, yeah
Well, now that's over
I see your motives inside
Decisions to hide
Back off, I'll take you on
Headstrong to take on anyone
I know that you are wrong
Headstrong, we're headstrong
Back off, I'll take you on
Headstrong to take on anyone
I walk through the valley of the shadow of death is
Top floor the view alone will leave you breathless Uhhhh!
Try to catch it Uhhhh! It's kinda hard hard
I know that you are wrong
And this is not where you belong
I can't give everything away
I won't give everything away
No other gang of college men dare meet us in the muss
God show me the way because the Devil trying to break me down
(Jesus Walks with me)
The only thing that that I pray is that my feet don't fail me now
(Jesus Walks)
And I don't think there is nothing I can do now to right my wrongs
(Jesus Walks with me)
My eyes don't need to see that ugly thing, I know it's me you fear
If you want me hold me back
frail, the skin is dry and pale, the pain will never fail
And so we go back to the remedy
Clip the wings that get you high, just leave them where they lie
And tell yourself, "you be the death of me
I don't need a friend, I need to mend so far away
So come sit by the fire and play a while, but you can't stay too long
It aches in every bone, I'll die alone, but not for pleasure
I see my heart explode, it's been eroded by the weather here
If you want me hold me back
I want to talk to God but I'm afraid because we ain't spoke in so long
There must be some way out of here," said the joker to the thief,
There's too much confusion, I can't get no relief.
Businessmen, they drink my wine, plowmen dig my earth,
None of them along the line know what any of it is worth.
No reason to get excited," the thief, he kindly spoke,
There are many here among us who feel that life is but a joke.
But you and I, we've been through that, and this is not our fate,
So let us not talk falsely now, the hour is getting late.
And when our college days are o'er and night is drawing nigh,
With parting breath we'll sing that song:
A Utah Man am I
Of course thanks to the contributors, these lyrics in part help to push me through lap 2 in my workouts, and for that extra push up the hill...
Today when I do my first two-a-day, I shall attempt to get a picture that is non-traumatic to post.
Friday I was given the results of one of my tests. I am now 75% cleared. If only my body was up to 75% capacity. The stamina has been very slow to increase, much slower than I prefer.
Saturday was a botched paper, but still good practice. There are moments that you realize you just get pre-judged. There is really nothing to be done about it.
So a run, an attempt at a longer run of 4 miles and change today. It is time to start pushing a bit. Stretch, modified tune list, and the dark sky. It is warm enough I can travel light on clothing for a change. It always feels good to trot along in the cool air. Of course at 59, some do not consider that very cool at all. I consider it a ‘comfortable’ temperature.
A good workout is just what I need to start the day off. Even if it is considerably early for most peoples’ definition at 330. I keep telling myself that I will need to push a little harder and return to my former ways if I am to obtain my goals.
Discipline, and patience. Preparation prevents injury, but today I will push hard. The cliché “pain is fear leaving the body”. There was a time that I truly had no fear. In order to accomplish the impossible, the impossible needs to become possible, probable. In that, a state on the fine edge between insanity and brilliance, is the place I will need to be in order to push my body for a grueling 154 miles across plains and up mountains.
Today, a test of fortitude stares me in the face. As I often say: “It is not a question of being afraid or not [everyone gets scared], it is about what you do when you are afraid [that does not build character [it does not build character, IT REVEALS CHARACTER]”…
The update, a 5 mile fartlek, for all intents and purposes, at a gruelingly slow 12:22 pace. Sheesh. I suppose the first phase is the toughest, or perhaps the second - completing more than a mile and a half at a solid-strong pace. In the meantime, discipline, it is far too easy to just up and quit.
The stamina, frankly is sucking right now. With a little more push, I just might be able to make some headway on that however.
Who am I, sir, a Utah man am I:
A Utah man, sir, and will be till I die: Ki! Ki!
We're up to snuff: we never bluff.
We're game for any fuss.
I was caught
In the middle of a railroad track (Thunder)
I looked 'round,
And I knew there was no turning back (Thunder)
My mind raced
And I thought what could I do? (Thunder)
And I knew
There was no help, no help from you (Thunder)
Sound of the drums
Beatin' in my heart
The thunder of guns!
Tore me apart
You've been - thunderstruck!
Rode down the highway
Broke the limit, we hit the ton
Thunderstruck, thunderstruck
Yeah yeah yeah, thunderstruck
Thunderstruck, yeah, yeah, yeah
Said yeah, it's alright
We're! Doing fine
Yeah, it's alright
We're! Doing fine
So fine
Thunderstruck, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Thunderstruck, thunderstruck, thunderstruck
Whoa baby, baby, thunderstruck
You've been thunderstruck, thunderstruck
Thunderstruck, thunderstruck, thunderstruck
You've been thunderstruck
Circling your, circling your, circling your head
Contemplating everything you ever said
Now I see the truth I got a doubt
A different motive in your eyes
And now I'm out, see you later
I see your fantasy
You want to make it a reality paved in gold
See inside, inside of our heads, yeah
Well, now that's over
I see your motives inside
Decisions to hide
Back off, I'll take you on
Headstrong to take on anyone
I know that you are wrong
Headstrong, we're headstrong
Back off, I'll take you on
Headstrong to take on anyone
I walk through the valley of the shadow of death is
Top floor the view alone will leave you breathless Uhhhh!
Try to catch it Uhhhh! It's kinda hard hard
I know that you are wrong
And this is not where you belong
I can't give everything away
I won't give everything away
No other gang of college men dare meet us in the muss
God show me the way because the Devil trying to break me down
(Jesus Walks with me)
The only thing that that I pray is that my feet don't fail me now
(Jesus Walks)
And I don't think there is nothing I can do now to right my wrongs
(Jesus Walks with me)
My eyes don't need to see that ugly thing, I know it's me you fear
If you want me hold me back
frail, the skin is dry and pale, the pain will never fail
And so we go back to the remedy
Clip the wings that get you high, just leave them where they lie
And tell yourself, "you be the death of me
I don't need a friend, I need to mend so far away
So come sit by the fire and play a while, but you can't stay too long
It aches in every bone, I'll die alone, but not for pleasure
I see my heart explode, it's been eroded by the weather here
If you want me hold me back
I want to talk to God but I'm afraid because we ain't spoke in so long
There must be some way out of here," said the joker to the thief,
There's too much confusion, I can't get no relief.
Businessmen, they drink my wine, plowmen dig my earth,
None of them along the line know what any of it is worth.
No reason to get excited," the thief, he kindly spoke,
There are many here among us who feel that life is but a joke.
But you and I, we've been through that, and this is not our fate,
So let us not talk falsely now, the hour is getting late.
And when our college days are o'er and night is drawing nigh,
With parting breath we'll sing that song:
A Utah Man am I
Of course thanks to the contributors, these lyrics in part help to push me through lap 2 in my workouts, and for that extra push up the hill...
Today when I do my first two-a-day, I shall attempt to get a picture that is non-traumatic to post.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Zeus and Airplanes
Now this is funny. So it is break, and I was taking a conference/relax trip. Of course it is the red eye.
Flight one 950pm to 11pm.
90 minute layover...
Flight two 1230am to 530am
3 hour layover...
Flight three 830am to noon, arrive at destination.
I cannot honestly say I was real thrilled about these travel legs, especially considering that the day was already rushed, and I detest these type of red-eye flights. They are just no fun, and sap your energy for a day after.
Well, it seems that my old buddy Zeus himself took pity on my lamenting and directly intervened. The plane, which was to be flight number one for me, was hit by lightning (Thanks Zeus, credit given where it is due), and so there was at first a one hour delay while they did a thorough maintenance inspection. I will give the airline credit for doing the safe thing and doing the right thing.
They found a hole in one of the wings. So the 'on call' flight crew was called, and new aircraft arranged for. A little of a pain, but hey, its better than eating a mountainside due to an unsafe aircraft.
As a result of the 5 hour departure delay, I would miss flight 2 and 3. As a result, a shorter trip, and instead of 3 flights to the destination, 1 each way at a civilized early afternoon time. So instead of 16 hours of planes, airports and security, about a total of 3.5 hours. No cost and with additional compensation.
Yes I can definitely live with that. I also get to sneak in a good night's sleep. Way to go Zeus. The moral of this story is rather comical. If you are going to pick a fight with a lightning bolt - you will probably lose.
But I must say that, the other passengers, were disappointed - yet very understanding after all, their safety was very much at risk too. And the airline, was quick to solve the travel needs of the passengers. It was nice to see people do the right thing. And nice to see the customers being grateful rather than nasty.
Flight one 950pm to 11pm.
90 minute layover...
Flight two 1230am to 530am
3 hour layover...
Flight three 830am to noon, arrive at destination.
I cannot honestly say I was real thrilled about these travel legs, especially considering that the day was already rushed, and I detest these type of red-eye flights. They are just no fun, and sap your energy for a day after.
Well, it seems that my old buddy Zeus himself took pity on my lamenting and directly intervened. The plane, which was to be flight number one for me, was hit by lightning (Thanks Zeus, credit given where it is due), and so there was at first a one hour delay while they did a thorough maintenance inspection. I will give the airline credit for doing the safe thing and doing the right thing.
They found a hole in one of the wings. So the 'on call' flight crew was called, and new aircraft arranged for. A little of a pain, but hey, its better than eating a mountainside due to an unsafe aircraft.
As a result of the 5 hour departure delay, I would miss flight 2 and 3. As a result, a shorter trip, and instead of 3 flights to the destination, 1 each way at a civilized early afternoon time. So instead of 16 hours of planes, airports and security, about a total of 3.5 hours. No cost and with additional compensation.
Yes I can definitely live with that. I also get to sneak in a good night's sleep. Way to go Zeus. The moral of this story is rather comical. If you are going to pick a fight with a lightning bolt - you will probably lose.
But I must say that, the other passengers, were disappointed - yet very understanding after all, their safety was very much at risk too. And the airline, was quick to solve the travel needs of the passengers. It was nice to see people do the right thing. And nice to see the customers being grateful rather than nasty.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Again
Yes, again.
After being rather caught up with a nasty flu and cold in February and part of March, I was determined to get back on things, particularly the running. I am still "officially" waiting on the clearance from the doc's before I start hitting heavy miles. That has cost me a month, plus being ill, almost 3 months total.
Of course, my body is far from ready for 'real' or 'hard' miles. As it is, the muscle atrophy is so bad, that even after scant workouts, I can't yet run a full mile. Though it is closer, it is really a statement of the sad state of my body. No one to blame but me. When I got out (of the army), a few years ago, frankly I had more than enough. I needed to decompress. Then I had the brilliant idea to go back to school and be serious about it. Result, lots of stress.
School was the right choice. I needed something to focus on. Something real, tangible. A way to measure some sort of continued progress. No more awards, medals, evaluation reports, and no more 'promotions'. More than anything I needed to find myself again. I had started that path once again, finally with the right tools. But it has been a slow process. I think it must be for anyone who finds their entire being spent on a failed enterprise.
What does any of this have to do with running? Several years ago, I made a conscious decision to write a memoir. I needed to do it for me. But it was never the right time, I never quite could find the motivation to start banging out the pages. I did not want it to be a regurgitated version of Platoon or Full Metal Jacket, only in print. I wasn't in Vietnam so maybe those movies were accurate, maybe they weren't. I always found them to be a bit problematic. Feed the stereotype that all people in the service are bottom feeding animals, who have a vocabulary of 3 and 4 letter words that fit on a single-sided, double-spaced page. Well I know that is not very accurate in my experience, granted it was nearly 2 decades later.
The point is, I wanted my memoir to be something more than that. I have not been particularly impressed with some of the current conflict literature I have seen. 'Literature' is a stretch that I am not really comfortable with either. It is not that I am better than that, so much as that type of digression is not my character and never really has been. I tried to fake it a time or two and failed miserably.
When you are nine, wandering the streets of Frankfurt (A.M. Main) not Kentucky, lost and you don't speak a lick of German; it IS a life changing event. Even if you are only nine. So very early on, I learned I had to be true to myself, when push comes to shove you may find yourself in a spot. A spot, a situation, where even if you can get help - you may not be able to get to it, and it may not be able to get to you.
A year ago, I decided I would finally tackle this long lingering task of writing my memoir. Shameless plug (http://www.a-view-from-the-wall.com) I had a motive, but things have changed, but I was determined to see it through. Oddly I had gone out for a run, another failed attempt to return to running. In the intro, I talk about how my brain and eyes did not recognize my body. I had let it go so badly for so long. I suffered micro tears and pulled muscles from that run. I am not 17 anymore, I can't just go run 5 miles without injury, especially packing an extra 50 pounds. But that never stopped me from trying, which over the last 5 years has led to a number of injuries. Some minor and some, not so much.
So I waited this year until almost the end of January. I started from scratch, changes in diet, small but important. I pretended that I know nothing about my body and nothing about running, except I used to be very good at it, although many many lifetimes ago. And I re-educated myself. Hit the running store, let them gear me up, and dropped a small mini fortune on proper shoes.
In the interest of NOT repeating the injury mistake yet again, I was determined that I would not be stopped. Not by my own lack of foresight or impatience at least. So a slow start, but a start I can live with. Then I decided, to do something, well truly crazy. I decided that in honor of ringing in my 40th birthday, I want to run the "Spartathlon". (http://www.spartathlon.gr/main.php) A grueling 154 mile straight through trek from Athens to Sparta - yes in Greece. In September, and it is not cold there in September.
It is 4 years away. Plenty of time, if I play the cards right and stay uninjured. then there are the doc's I mentioned earlier. Yup, there are some heart issues in the family. Better safe than sorry. Regardless I will keep running, but that run, will test the very best athletes every time. I did not pick it because it is a cake-walk after all.
In the old days, I wasn't even a long distance guy. I was a sprinter, and not what I would consider the easy sprints. The 400 meter is a race that requires speed, and stamina. I remember my first 400 race, during the race at least 4 different times I thought my heart was going to explode inside my chest. And I was 16, cut - ripped - and in awesome shape. I could turn in a 5:45 mile at the drop of a dime. My first 400m was a 54.5 - at 4500 feet above sea level, that is really not bad for a first time out. I learned to hate that race, but I became quite good at it. As a point of reference, most high school and college tracks (around football fields) are 400 meters. Yeah try to sprint the entire thing, on your toes and balls of your feet... I will have to post a picture of what I looked like then, and don't worry there will not be any traumatic pictures of now. Not for a while, say at least -40 pounds ha ha.
So Saturday night I went out and did a hybrid run/walk/run. It was something like 5 miles, but a good workout. I can feel the strength coming back finally in my legs. They are tiring slower, and the spring is increasing. I good sign for the future, and patience and discipline are my enemies - it seems embracing them instead of fighting them is working well. This morning I went out again, a very early 430am 5 mile workout, a little better feeling than Saturday. Progress, even small, is welcome.
Now comes the discipline to keep working on things. To keep pushing the extra half a block, to push all the way over the hill. So to that end, this series fo blogs, I will do my best to track things.
I had originally planned to try my first half-marathon (no I have never run that long of a race, only a 10k twice long ago) by the end of the year. Realistically that is probably towards February of 2011. No problem. As an old saying i once heard goes, "Speed comes from slowness".
I am sure the morning commuters were a bit dismayed by the fat white guy in shorts and sweatshirt, 'trying' to trot down the sidewalk this morning, but I am doing it for me not them. More and more like the old days. Today 35 degrees and dark out, then 29 degrees and snow, shorts, sweatshirt or t-shirt. If it ends badly and I get even half way to what I once was, I just might smile.
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